Showing posts with label England. Show all posts
Showing posts with label England. Show all posts

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Mail on Sunday

Today it's to be read on the frontpage of an English newspaper that Merkel wants Britain to crawl across broken glass.
Cited is an unspecified source as saying that the German chancellor was determined to see Britain suffer rather than reach a compromise on the sticking points of future government aid and fishing.

And who would not immediately and wholeheartedly believe?! After all it is coming from excellently educated journalists whose living is clean, whose manners are impeccable and who would never lie.

The more surprised I got, when my always trustworthy and absolutely reliable source let me know that she had heard by someone who knows the cousin of the doctor who had once got the opportunity to look in said journalist's brain, that instead of grey matter the one who had written the above has brown matter in his head.
Before I could ask for more details my always best-informed source went on:
"There is no need to worry for the average English(wo)man who does not only want her respectively his money but also her  respectively his sovereignty back.
Alternative fact is that each week 350 million quid will be pumped into the NHS, farmers will become rich, and the blessed English sovereigns will not be able to eat all the fish brave English fisherman will bring back from sea, escorted and protected against all the evil fishermen from abroad."

I hardly could believe my ears.
Finally my extraordinary credible source quoted Heinrich Heine on his 223rd birthday:  

"I have never seen an ass who wrote like a human being, but I have met many human beings who wrote like asses."

P.S. On request of A.Brit, readers may in their grey (sic!) matter replace England and English with GREAT Britain and British, because, of course, the people in Northern Ireland, in Scotland and Wales are blessed GREAT British sovereigns, too, and thus also will enjoy all the most wonderful fruits of what is their majority's will.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

About Questions II

If they can get you asking the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry about the answers.
Thomas Pynchon in Gravity's Rainbow